


Luck

by PinguMew98



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, Graphic Description, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers, Tried for some serious realism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:33:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26476507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinguMew98/pseuds/PinguMew98
Summary: Ellie, Dina, Tommy, and Jessie's journey back to Jackson.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some quick notes: 1. Spoilers 2. I am not Jewish so I apologize if I get any of Dina's cultural/religious stuff incorrect.
> 
> As I mentioned in the tags, I was going for realism. I had wanted to loop in some Dina trauma but realized the nightmare thing just probably wouldn't have been a big thing. Even guys I know with some serious combat PTSD have their dreams taper off over time. Now, thinking about events out triggers will still get them, but not nightmares. Unfortunately dreams are the easiest way to write trauma.

After Seattle, there had been little need for luck. Ellie have even tried to give Dina back her bracelet.

  
“You'll need some luck taking care of a baby.” Ellie said.

  
Dina laughed lightly.

  
“Babe, you need the luck more than me.”

  
“Hey!” Ellie retorted, mock offended. “I've faced down hordes of infected. What makes you think I can’t handle a tiny human?”

  
It had been a relief to get back to playful banter. It had taken weeks after the trio had been left in pools of their own blood.  
\--  
Ellie never told Dina her nightmares involved her. Of Abby, slitting her throat. The image of Dina lying face down on the ground never was far from her thoughts. Part of her thought, maybe, if Dina had her bracelet, Jessie and her would have been safe. Maybe Ellie would not have been so lucky at the aquarium, but Jessie would be alive. Tommy wouldn’t have his skull exposed. Dina wouldn’t have had her face bashed in.  
\--  
These thoughts, though, never got a voice. Instead, as Ellie lay on her back, her right arm snapped like a twig, blood running into her eyes, all she could think of, was what to do next. Dina coughed.

  
“Dina?” Ellie called to her weakly.

  
There was the scrapping of wood on top of wood.

  
“Fuck.”

  
Ellie smiled and she let a strangled sob. She attempted to lift her body, but couldn’t. She felt a hand on her face. Her tears had mixed with the blood, running little cascades of blood down her face. “Dina…” she said weakly again. Her whole body hurt. Through her blurred vision she saw the dark-haired woman, nervously surveying her. With her undamaged arm, Ellie delicately placed a strand of hair behind Dina’s ear.

  
“Oh Ellie,” Dina said. “I thought that bitch had killed you.”

  
Ellie tried for a laugh, but the vibrations caused her body to shake and hurt all over again.

  
“I thought she was going to kill you…” Ellie replied.

  
“We need to take care of that arm.” Dina was already standing up, shakily, looking for fabric to make a sling.

  
Ellie tried to sit up again. She felt a hand gently push her back down. “Hey dummy. Wait until I can get that arm in a sling.” Preparing the fabric, Dina looked over at her. “This is going to hurt.”

  
Halfway through her words, Dina grabbed Ellie’s arm and placed it across her chest. Ellie screamed because there was no one to hear her but Dina. Once her arm was safely slung, she finally managed to get herself to a sitting position.

  
“Now we just gotta take care of that.” Ellie used her head to indicate the arrow sticking out of Dina’s shoulder.

  
Dina looked over at the protruding object. It was weird, her clearly broken nose hurt like the devil. The arrow, not as much. Shrugging her left shoulder, Dina stood up. “We gotta see what’s up with Tommy and Jessie.”

  
“Dina…” Ellie realized that her girlfriend didn’t know. “Jessie is…” The words seemed to catch in her throat. The image of the hole blasted through his face still sitting with her.  
\--  
If only she had gone with Jessie instead of splitting up. They would have found Tommy and gotten back to the theater. She wouldn’t have gone to that aquarium. She wouldn’t have killed that pregnant woman and that guy. She wouldn’t have left the map and the four of them would have already been getting Dina safely back to Jackson so she could have Jessie’s baby.

  
If only…  
\--  
Ellie heard Dina’s screams and crying before she saw her over Jessie’s body. It didn’t matter that Dina knew what she was going to see. In fact, when Ellie rounded the corner and saw Jessie’s body, she too began to cry anew. Wiping at her tears she went over to Tommy’s body. How in the hell was she going to explain this to…

Tommy moved!

  
Ellie scrambled to the ground. “Tommy?”

  
The older man moved again, although he made no coherent sounds.

  
Dina had rushed over next to her. “Shit, Ellie, we need to get him out of here.”

  
Ellie nodded. But how. How were two women with damaged shoulders going to move two full grown men. It still hadn’t crossed Ellie’s mind to leave Jessie in Seattle. He was coming home to Jackson…  
“WLF.” Ellie rasped suddenly. “They have a bunch of vehicles.”

  
Dina looked warily at her. “You really think you’re able to steal a vehicle from the WLF in your condition?”  
Ellie was already on her feet and heading to the door.

“We don’t have any other choice.”  
\--  
It had to have been luck that Ellie came across a vehicle on the outskirts of the WLF compound. Not only did it have gas, but it had a few spare containers in it as well. Without hesitating, she jumped in and drove the vehicle back to the theater.  
\--  
She pulled up in front of the theater, killing the engine as she did. Rushing inside, she saw that Dina had managed to pull off a truly miraculous patch job on Tommy. Dina had Ellie’s bag leaning up against the counter, where Tommy was also propped. But the young woman couldn’t be seen. Ellie began to panic. Images of Dina, knocked unconscious and hanging limply in Abby's arms as the ox of a women tensed, getting ready to slit Dina's…

  
“Ellie?”

  
Ellie jumped. Dina looked concerned, placing a comforting arm on Ellie's good shoulder. “You ok?”  
No, Ellie wasn’t ok. But she couldn’t tell Dina that.

  
“Ya.”

  
Dina looked unconvinced but ignored Ellie's curt response. Instead, she spread out a map. “I found this among the things upstairs.” It wasn’t the most detailed map, but it did show major roads. “The question is how big these major cities are and the possible blocks…”

  
Ellie indicated a city. “I only recognize Portland and Salt Lake City…”

  
Dina nodded. “Well, even though Salt Lake was a QZ, we know our way to and from there ok. If we can get there, we're likely to at least run into a patrol at some point.”

  
“Here’s hoping we have enough gas…”  
\--  
Even with both of them, dragging Tommy's body across the theater took a while, and even longer to try and lift his body into the vehicle's cabin. Huffing and puffing, the pair of women look over at Jessie. With grim resolve, they start the exhausting process anew.  
\--  
Dina snoozed in the passenger seat. She deserved it. Already weakened by her pregnancy and hampered by an injured shoulder, it amazed Ellie she had pushed herself as hard as she did. The road, once they managed to get out of the Seattle QZ, was relatively clear. Alone with her thoughts, Ellie slipped into guilt. Guilt over getting Jessie killed. Guilt over failing to avenge Joel. Guilt that she almost got Dina and Tommy killed…

  
“Babe.”

  
Ellie jumped, causing the car to swerve a bit. Dina braced herself. Once the vehicle smoothed out again, Dina let out a little laugh. It was like music to Ellie's ears. It had been days since she heard it. “Maybe I should drive?”

  
“No way raccoon eyes.”

  
“Come again?”

  
Ellie looked back over at Dina. She quickly let go of the wheel to motion at her eyes. “Raccoon…” Ellie trailed off, focusing back on the road.

  
She didn’t see the smile playing at Dina's lips.  
\--  
The vehicle ran out of gas just outside Utah state limits. Ellie had swore and kicked at the vehicle repeatedly, pent up anger seeping out like an unplugged gas line. Dina tried to calm the red-head down.

  
“How the fuck are we going to get…” Ellie couldn’t say his name. She thought of his presence – even at times of heightened agitation.

  
“We’ll figure it out.” Dina reassured her. Without thinking, she tried to open the door with her right hand. Swearing at the pain, blood oozed out of the arrow hole, seeping into the hastily applied bandage.

“Shit.” Ellie rushed over, forgetting about their situation. “We should really sew that up.”

  
“And you think you'll be do it?” Dina queried, playful skepticism in her voice. “I've seen you’re patch jobs with both hands before. Think I’m gonna let you get one bad hand on this?” Dina motioned to her body.

“Nah girl.”

  
Ellie rolled her eyes as she rummaged through her backpack for a needle and thread.  
\--  
Jessie went down like a sack of bricks. He lay there, motionless, blood leaking out of his face. Eyes, wide. Wide like Nora, who defiantly stared at her as she bashed her head in. Blood, leaking. Eyes, wide.  
\--  
“Ellie!”

  
She felt a hand on her face. She was looking through her backpack. But she was sitting on the ground, hitting her head on the side of the vehicle.  
As she looking into Dina’s wide eyes, she felt herself calm slightly. She murmured a soft apology. Dina shook her head, “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Ellie took a deep inhale and closed her eyes. A moment passed in silence. “Let’s get that shoulder patched up so we can get back home.”

  
Ellie was not particularly delicate with her good hand, but with only her left, her handiwork was much to be desired. Dina also let her know it, “Who’s going to want me now? I’m practically Quasimodo.”

A few days ago, this gentle ribbing would have caused a playful banter and most likely end in sex. Today, barely a day removed from Abby’s attack, the attempt at levity fell flat. Ellie managed a tight smile, but sitting back on her heels, her busted right arm ached and she could not muster a retort. “How are we going to get, the guys, home?”

  
That was the million dollar question. It constantly occupied Ellie’s mind, from the moment she was finally back on her feet in the theatre, to right now. When she was at the wheel, she had focused on the fuel gauge, wishing that it would miraculously re-fill. (When Dina drove, she remembered a story Talia used to repeat about how the prophet Eliyahu blessed a poor family who showed him kindness, and Yahweh ensured the family never ran out of their precious oil and flour. That was always a theme of nearly every story her sister told her – be kind, hope, and Yahweh would provide. Seemed a hallow sentiment since Talia had hope and was always kind to strangers…but god let her die anyway.)

“Have you considered leaving Jessie?” Dina ventured.  
\--  
Ellie sulked. She said she had to secure a perimeter, but she was sulking. As she stalked, pistol in hand, she wished her arm was not broken so that wielding a shotgun was not impossible.

Bury…her friend? He needed to be in Jackson. Home, where he belonged. Not in some foreign part of the country where no one could visit him. Dina. His baby. Fuck!  
Ellie stopped. Dina was carrying his fucking baby. It would never, its father. Because of her.  
She heard a rustle. Spinning on her heel, she brandished her pistol, letting off a shot. A small rabbit hopped away. Ellie was breathing hard. Her hand shook.

“Ellie!”

  
Once again, the red-head spun, pointing her weapon shakily at the women who burst into sight. Dina immediately raised her hands. “Ellie?” it was definitely a question.

  
Gulping air, Ellie saw Dina. Her brain was processing that she was pointing her pistol at her pregnant girlfriend. Her hand raised, just like that pregnant women and that guy at the aquarium.

  
She dropped the gun, sinking to a crouch that resembled a fetal position. What if it had been a kid rummaging in the brush? She had shot without hesitating. That girl and guy, hands up, looking at her and knowing their lives were in her hands. She played judge and jury. Spinning out of control, she once again felt gentle hands on the sides of her face.

“Babe. You’re ok. You’re safe.”

  
Dina’s voice sounded far away. But her hands, Ellie reached up and touched them, Dina’s hands were here, grounding her. Her brain was still trying to catch up. She was outside someplace called Boise. She was securing a perimeter while she thought about what to do with…

  
Dina sat next to Ellie. “We need to get Tommy some serious help.”

  
The young woman was dancing around the point. The two of them with their busted bodies, could not get a critically injured, middle-aged man AND their very tall friend home. Ellie knew it. They could not risk losing Tommy too just because she felt like she needed to get Je…him home. Ellie sighed. Dina did not say anything because she knew she had won – but for once she did not want to gloat.  
\--  
Dina had tried digging. Sweat poured down her face as she swung the shitty travel shovel with her weak hand that they had found in the vehicle. But ten minutes in, a wave of nausea hit her. Swearing, she hurried a distance away to vomit. Ellie was beside her in seconds, rubbing her back. “Sorry” Dina said between retching.

  
“Nothing to be sorry about.” Ellie replied.  
\--  
It was slow going. The trio only managed to travel a handful of miles a day. Although Dina had managed to jerry-rig a system that enable the pair to haul Tommy overland, between broken bodies and Dina’s pregnancy, the going was slow.  
\--  
Dina sniffed Tommy. She looked at her girlfriend with a quizzical look. “What is that smell?”

“We’ve been towing a guy for a week now and haven’t showered, in a fucking desert. Tommy has pissed and shit himself god knows how many times. We smell bad.” Ellie replied.

  
“Ya…that smell, I’m use to. This is a new one. Kinda smells like death.”

  
Dina started searching their quick campsite. “It’s probably a piece of rotten meat…”

  
“What the fuck is this?” Dina exclaimed. She held up a human hand wrapped in some worn, torn cloth. She had pulled it out of Ellie’s backpack.

  
Ellie was silent.

  
“Ellie?” Dina’s tone was dangerous. Inwardly, she was worried her girlfriend had taken to collecting trophies of her kills. She had seen it happen to a number of folks back in New Mexico. Guys who had hunted people so long that, following a kill, they would maim the body, cutting off a finger or an ear, to keep as a physical reminder of the foe they had vanquished.

“He needed to come home.” Ellie said in a small voice. “When your kid visits his grave, there will be nothing there. I wanted them to have, something.”  
“Ellie.” Dina’s tone had softened. “ _Our_ kid doesn’t need a physical thing to visit to remember Jessie.”  
There were tears in Ellie’s eyes. “We left him behind. Alone.”

  
Dina dropped Jessie’s hand, walking over to hold her girlfriend. “He was dead Ellie.” Ellie clung to Dina like a lifeline. “He’d want us to get home safe and save Tommy.” Ellie nodded. She knew Dina was right. But she couldn’t shake how alone they had left him. A week ago, burying a cold body into the cold ground, never to return home.  
\--  
Their situation was rapidly deteriorating. It had been two days since they had had food. Their broken bones had healed but Tommy was developing a fever. Dina was starting to show and her morning sickness continued to hamper their progress.

  
It could have only been luck that, while hunting, Ellie ran across a long-range Jackson patrol who were carrying walkie-talkies.

Within hours, a group of Jacksonians were carrying the trio of survivors back home.


	2. After Santa Barbara

“Dina!”  
Ellie called into the thickening blizzard.   
“Where are you?!”  
The snow beat down on Ellie as she hunched on horseback, trying to keep warm. The world was becoming more white and cold.  
______________________________________________________________________________  
“Dina!” Ellie woke with a start.   
She had finally started being able to sleep through the night ever since she let Abby go. Tonight was the first night in years that Ellie had woke up in a state.   
“Mom?” J.J. was at the door.   
“Hey kiddo.” Ellie said as she rested her hands on her head. “I’m ok.”  
The young man sat on the edge of Ellie's bed. “I heard you calling out for mom.”  
Ellie was a terrible poker player. Although she had lost her fingers nearly thirteen years ago, she developed the habit of clenching and unclenching her mangled hand when she was nervous, and rubbing the stumps when she was anxious. What the dividing line between nervous and anxious was, Ellie wasn’t sure of, but either way, she had an obvious tell. With her hands still rested on her head, she grasped at the stumps.  
This action always drew J.J.’s attention, highlighting his mom’s deformed hand. Occasionally, he had enough courage to ask, “Mom, what happened to your hand?”  
Ellie sighed. “I’ve told you a million times kiddo, when you’re a man.”  
J.J. got up from the bed, indignant. “I am a man! I just had my bar mitzvah.” J.J. tried to scowl, but like his dad, serious faces were for joking. He smiled and Ellie felt like she was looking at a little Jessie.  
“You know I can’t say no to that smile.” Ellie remarked. “You know, you get your charming smile from my side of the family.”  
As only young kids can, J.J. made an exasperated sigh. “Mom…” he gave Ellie a punch on her shoulder.  
Grapping her shoulder as though the punch dislocated it, Ellie mocked cried out. “And you get your right hook from your mom’s side.”  
J.J. giggled but he felt let down. He was a man now. He wanted to know about his family. But no one, well, one of his moms, never wanted to talk about things. Ellie saw the sadness behind her son’s eyes.   
“Ok kiddo. I promised I’d let you know when you’re a man. And you are one so,” she held up her three-fingered hand. “Why I look like a velociraptor.”

“Your mom and I we…”   
‘this is going to be impossible’ Ellie thought.   
“We, were on a mission. It was because of this mission that your dad died.” J.J. nodded his head. “A group of people had killed,” Ellie once again hesitated, “the man who sorta raised me. He was the closest thing I had to family. Hell,” Ellie sighed, “Joel was basically my dad. Anyway, he had done some pretty bad things and, those people killed him because of it. I had a hard time after he died. I couldn’t sleep, barely ate. I got some information about the people that had killed him, so I decided to kill them right back. Your mom came with to support me.”   
“Mom says she came along to save you.” J.J. piped in.  
Ellie chuckled. “Ya, she definitely saved me from a lot of things. Well, I know mom’s told you about that time in our lives so I’m going to jump ahead. The three of us were living on a farm a couple hours from Jackson. And it was perfect…” Ellie remember the old farmhouse. The records playing as Dina did the dishes. Ellie would bounce little J.J. around and Dina would make some quip about Ellie’s terrible puns. “But I had some pretty bad nightmares. I rarely slept. And then your Uncle Tommy came with some info about the one killer who got away…”   
“This sounds a lot like the group of people who killed your dad.” J.J. looked at his mom. Of course her thirteen year old son clearly saw what took her years to process.  
“It does. Well, I left your mom to finish taking care of everyone who had killed, my dad.” J.J. placed his hand on his mom’s mangled one. “Listen kiddo, that wasn’t my proudest moment. I was young, and stupid, and thought, if I could just – make everyone pay, I’d feel better. I wouldn’t have nightmares. That, I could focus on the two of you… Sounds stupid now, I know. But I left. I walked thousands of miles to a place called Santa Barbara, all the way out on the coast. I finally found my opponent, my archnemesis. She had been a hulking figure. But when I found her, she was trussed up on the beach, almost as skinny as me. When I saw her there, I felt bad for her. I cut her down. She looked at me, trying to ascertain what I was going to do. After a moment, she walked away from me, to cut down her friend. She knew I was going to try and kill her, but, she didn’t care. Half dead herself, she just kept telling her friend that she had him. With god knows what strength, she picked the kid up. I was pretty badly injured. So, knowing I had intentions to kill her, she motioned me to come with her as she carried her friend down to the beach. She even turned around to make sure I got to the beach ok…”  
Ellie was clenching and unclenching her hand as she rubbed the stumps. “It’s ok mom.” Ellie sighed. She hadn’t told the whole story, out loud, at once. Dina had gotten tidbits. Ellie knew one day, she’d have to tell J.J. The narrative had been crafted and re-crafted in her head for years. Still, when the moment came, the words, the memories, caught in her throat. Remembering the anger she held, and the fear. Also, the desire to sleep peacefully for once, without seeing Riley turning, or Joel’s crushed and bloodied face, or that fucking WLF fucker who was going to kill Dina, or the bullet hole in Jessie’s face, or Abby – getting ready to slit Dina’s throat like a deer’s…  
“I don’t come out of this story smelling like roses.” Ellie said looking at the attentive gaze of her son.  
“You don’t have to. You came out alive which is the most important part.” Ellie smiled. He definitely didn't get his emotional maturity from her. That was undoubtedly the product of Dina’s tireless efforts.  
“We were prepping the boats to go. And I looked down at my hand covered in my own blood and I remembered Joel. How he looked right before he died. I felt my blood boil. I remembered when I left you and your mom. I had left everything good so I didn’t have to see his face like that. So I confronted her. She never turned to look at me, just said, ‘I’m not doing this.’ Considering the last words she had previously said to me was ‘if I ever see you again, I’ll kill you,’ I think she had done a bit more soul searching than me. She said she wasn’t going to fight me. I forced her hand…I,” Ellie paused. “God, I am not coming out good. I, threatened her friend. Put a knife to his throat. Forced her to fight me. And she almost won. Both of us, near death. I even had a knife and she almost won. I finally got her down and was trying to hold her head under water. My hand slipped up towards her mouth so she latched on. Torn my fingers off.” Ellie brandished her hand. “As I held her under, feeling her thrashing growing weaker and weaker, I remembered Joel. It was the first time since he died that my memory of him wasn’t his death. He was just, playing around on his guitar. I had been pretty mad at him, before he died. Found out he had been lying to me. But we were finally getting to a good place before he was killed. Anyway, it was like…all of a sudden, I wasn’t angry anymore. It seemed so pointless. She was protecting her friend…willing to die for him. Just like Joel, and me…she was just like me.”  
It was hard whenever Ellie thought about Abby. With time, she could see how their lives, their experiences were similar, parallel even. Abby came after Joel for killing her dad, Ellie came after Abby for the same reason. Actually, when Ellie thought deeper about it, Abby let her live. Elite was not so magnanimous. Her revenge meant killing, a lot.   
“I don’t know how long I sat in the ocean, but I heard the boat noises come back. When I looked up, I saw her, towering over me. The knife wounds I had inflicted on her still oozing blood.   
‘He’s not going to make it to the island. Do you have water?’   
I got up and went over to my bag. Pulled out my last bottle of water. She took it and went over to her friend. She gave him nearly the entire bottle, saved only a sip for herself. Then we heard the clickers. Between the prison break and releasing the clickers, they had made their way over to us. Grabbing my bag, I fell into their boat and we took off.  
She seemed to know where she was going because after a few hours, we arrived on an island. Turns out it was one of the final outposts of the Fireflies. Luckily, I was able to receive some medical attention and provisions before I made my way back to you.”  
J.J. sat, enraptured by the memory. He wanted to know more, but he could tell that this was where this story ended. Contented, he stood up from the bed. He kissed his mom on the cheek and scurried off.  
“That’s quite a tale.” Ellie looked up to see Dina in the doorway.  
“What is it about our family and lurking in doorways?”  
Dina smiled as she made her way to Ellie. “Heard you calling my name. Did you have another nightmare?”  
“It was that blizzard we got trapped in the day Joel died.”  
Dina nodded.   
“Its hard when one of the worst days of your life coincides with one of the best.”  
“I dunno. I’d say it was only a 6.” Ellie threw her pillow at Dina. She laughed as the soft object collided with her face.  
“You didn’t mention that Abby and Lev were the people of your story.” Ellie got out of bed and was throwing on a pair of jeans.  
“What good would that have done him? He adores Lev. Kid’s like a big brother to him.”  
“He also shot me.” Dina slid her shirt down, “right here.”  
Ellie walked back over to Dina. “Is it fucked up we’re friends with them?”  
Dina considered. “We all have done things we’re not proud of to survive. But we did. All of us. Now that there’s a cure, we have to live with our past.”  
“As long as it’s with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to write a story about Abby and Ellie being friends because...they should. Not my best work, but I really just want to write something about my girls.

**Author's Note:**

> I fully intend to write a second chapter dealing with Santa Barbara so...stay tuned. Although, if you're an Abby hater, don't bother with the 2nd chapter.


End file.
